~terlalu baik...~

" Awak terlalu baik utk saya..."

Acapkali ungkapan tu keluar dari mulut2 Adam yang pernah saya kenal. Adakah mereka betul2 bermaksud macam tu, atau pun tu cuma cara paling berhikmah untuk melukakan hati orang lain. Orang puteh cakap " a polite rejection". I'm afraid to date you. It seems too good to be true.

Lelaki susah nak difahami. Dia betul2 nampak ikhlas dan sungguh2. And he tells me how I always understand him, I'm smart, cute, and pretty much his dream. Tapi yang buat saya confuse dan kesukaran untuk faham, why wouldn't he dates someone who is everything he wanted? I don't understand it at all. Kalau xda hati, kenapa perlu susah payah nak amik berat, jaga hati, luangkan masa and so on. Just like an ordinary couples do. I really never thought of myself as all that special. In fact, I usually feel much the opposite. Saya org biasa, sama cam org lain jugak.. So why would he ditch me for some reasons yang rapuh, " u are too good", " i keliru dgn perasaan sndiri", " i tak boleh nak decide" " i dun deserve u" dan macam2 lagi alasan yang hampehhh..


Nak putus, alasan ni.. Nak start a relationship pon alasan ni..


Situasi 1 : Nak putus
L : U, i syg u.. Tapi i rasa u deserve someone else yg lebih baik dr i. i tetap syg u smpai bila2...
P : Tapi nape?? apa salah i..u wat i camni..
L : U x salah ape2.. i yg salah. u terlalu paling baik sangat...(ayat bm melampau yg salahhh) i
      tak layak utk u.
P : .....
Tapi kenapa after few years baru perasan yg pompuan tu terlalu baik utk dia. Lepas dah tabur janji2 manismu. Dah plan nk hidup bahagia sesama. Memang la manusia hanya merancang, tapi boleh pikir ape sebelum tu. Ni dah sayang separuh nyawa, nak tinggalkan mcm tu je. Dah la alasan kabur.. Tup2 sebulan lepas tu kawen ngan orang lain. Senang nye, jadi backup plan je rupanya.. Dem it!!!


Situasi 2 : Nak start relationship
P : U, kite ni macam mana?..
L : Mcmna ape.. Cam ni laa..
P : Ye laa, i  just nk tau status kita. Kita ni tak mcm kawan biasa.. tak kan u tak rase apa2
L: Tah la u, i confuse.. I nak u ada selalu ngn i, tp i tatau perasaan i camne. i tatau apa i nk..
P : Abes tu smpai bila nk mcm ni..
L : Kite layan je eh.. Tapi u jgn harap sgt kat i. i takut nnt i akan lukakan u..maybe jodoh u lbih 
     baik dr i. sebab u terlalu baik utk i..
P : ......
Baik punye respon.. Hang da layan baik, sayang2 sume..jaga hati, amik berat... Teruskan je la. Kalau niat kita ikhlas, inshaAllah Tuhan akan mudahkan jalan. Ni tak, bila si perempuan cerita psl keseriusan dlm relationship, terus gelabah. Semua jadi tak kena. Dunia kelam. Susah sangat ke nak commit dalam relationship. Kalau betul2 sayang, tak perlu nk rasa takut. Ni kes yg nk suka2, trial n error, tu jadi mcm ni...hmmmm


Dah la, jangan guna alasan 'terlalu baik' tu. Terus terang lagi bagus. Walaupun sakit, sekurang2 nya dia tau apa yang ada dalam isi hati kamu. Apa alasan kamu yg sebenar. Takut plak nanti, dia tak boleh terima alasan tu, terus berubah plak jadi pempuan tak baik, pendendam, penipu dan tak jujur dalam relationship. Dah jadi baik pun orang layan tak baik, baik jadi jahat kan.Sama macam yang kamu buat ke dia. Ishh naya tuh.. Hmmm apa2 pun sume datang dari diri kita sendiri. Kalau kita ikhlas, kerana nak mengharapkan redha Allah, inshaAllah jalan kita mudah. Girls, jangan cepat jatuh dan rapuh. Simpan cinta untuk yang berhak..jangan tangisi apa yg bukan milik kita..


love_xoxo

~everything will be fine~

Fuhh lamenye x berblog nih..huhuu. Sebok ngn study, pastu p praktikal lak 3 bln. Hmmm sebok la sangattt..hehh3.. Lagipun xde ape nk share, semua citer2 biase je..

Tersebut psl praktikal tadi, emm seronok gak duduk kat tempat org nih..1st time duduk jauh dr family, giler da tua2 ni baru ada peluang. Dulu muda2 tanak, berkepit ngan mak je..(skang pun berkepit ngan mak gak, da tade laki lagi, hihhii..) 3 bulan di Kulim, memang pengalaman yg tak dpat dilupakan. Banyak benda baru dapat di explore. Contohnye ape eh?.. emm loghat nye, makanan nye, orang2 nye, tmpat2 menarik sekitar utara tuu..n mcm2 lg laa.. Sekolah tempat praktikal tu pun best. Kwn2 cikgu yg sangat warm, peramahh, kepochi, meriahh ..eii seronok lahh.. Dpt lak ngajar budak2 form 1, aalahaii comel2 je.. Rindu dorang sume...:(

Ni dah sebulan blk Selangorr.. Dah mcm ape je kat umah ni, kedepan keblakang...buhsann... Bile la nk start keje..aihhh?? Bile da tade keje, kepala pon mula la merewang sana sini pikir mcam2. Sbenarnye ade sesuatu lagi yg di explore kat Kulim tu. Itu jugak yg buat semua jadi tak kena kat sini. Hahhaa padan muka, tade pasal carik pasal.. But i believe that everything happens for a reason. Ape pun syukur Tuhan masih bagi rasa itu.. rasa butterflies in my stomach.. But i dun know whether it will last or sekadar di pinggiran je... Sebab sy seorang yg selalu gagal... Hmmm.... Sudah lahh, everything will be fine!! Jgn risau...Allah ada jaga kita semua...Laaa tahzan!! =)

Jadi cikgu kan senang!!

Ingat lagi org2 dulu cakap, ala keje cikgu kan senang. Balik tengah hari boleh tido. Yg perempuan boleh masak, kemas rumah, jaga anak bile balik dr sekolah. Kat sekolah pulak keje mengajar je la. Apa yg susah??


Rasanye bukan org dulu je, org sekarang pon fikir camtu. Well, including me!! Huhhuuu.. Tapi bila da masuk profesion ni dan merasa sendiri jadi cikgu sandaran dulu persepsi tu terus berubah sama sekali. Ingat kan datang sekolah, masuk kelas then mengajar. Pastu abes kelas masuk bilik guru, tak pun borak2 sambil minum kat kantin.


Realitinya, cikgu ni boleh kata multipurpose la kat sekolah tu.. Contoh nya bila ada event kat sekolah mcm mesyuarat PIBG. Cikgu kene urus dari A smpai Z. Dari sebelum, semasa dan selepas hari kejadian. Cikgu kene jadi MC, kena jadi tukang hias dewan, kene pasang PA system, kene menyapu dewan, kena bungkus adiah, kene hidang makanan, kene sambut tetamu dan mcm2 kene lagi... Bila hari sukan plak, cikgu kene latih budak, kene wat garisan, kene jaga garisan, kene jadi hakim, kene hantar budak pengsan, kene itu dan kene ini.. Bila musim periksa lagi best, sbb x yah ngajar.. Tapi cikgu kene wat soalan, kene stapler kertas soalan, kene tanda plak.. Pastu kene amik markah, kene key-in markah, kene tulis kad laporan kemajuan. Skrang masuk plak bab jadi guru kelas. Hari2 kene amik attendance, kene tutup buku attendance tiap bulan, kene kutip yuran pelajar, kene kira hari budak ponteng, kene wat surat amaaran budak ponteng, kene mengadap mak bapak pelajar yg bermasalah. Kene jaga kelas plak biar bersih selalu kalo x kene sebut kat assembly kelas paling kotor..huhhuu malu cikgu kelas.. Itu belum yg ada jawatan2 penting. Kene wat akaun la, kene audit la, kene hantar budak pergi bertanding kat luar sekolah..uiii mcm2 lg...


Skarang most school blk lewat..at least pukul 2.30 ptg. Tak macam dulu, kul 1 lebih da boleh blk. Tu belum yg ada aktiviti ko-kurikulum. Dah kene blk lewat smpai ptg plak.. Kalau kene kelab yg nak masuk pertandingan ke peringkat daerah, dah kene latih plak tiap2 hari sebelum hari perlawanan. Tambah plak ari Sabtu kadang2 ada aktiviti mcm Latihan Dalam Perkhidmatan. So kene dtg wat kursus kat sekolah..


Kat dalam kelas, at least ada more than 30 students kene handle. 30 kepala, 30 kerenah dan 30 perangai.. Tu baru satu kelas, kalo ada 4 kelas..huhhuu darab je la bape kepala kene jaga. Kalo stail dgr cakap, stail budak kelas depan..fuhhh Alhamdulillah.. Tapi kalo stail ada batu dalam kepala, stail kelas hujung tanjung, memang mengucap panjaaaaaangggg la cikgu.. Dulu zaman saya sekolah, nmpak cikgu dr jauh nk masuk kelas kite dah berlari amik tempat masing2. Sekarang cikgu masuk mengajar, dia pun sibuk wat syarahan kat belakang.. Yg lagi best, cikgu menulis kat papan putih. Then bila toleh mengadap pelajar, tinggal 2 line depan je. Yang belakang haram ponteng kelas.. Belum yang merokok dlm toilet, dating bawah tangga, join budak2 kelas PJ kat padang, curi harta sekolah, toreh kereta cikgu, bertenggek kat koridor tayang muka kat junior, yg junior pompuan tawaf satu sekolah nk tayang muka kat senior.. Hmmm macam2...


Berurusan dengan manusia ni lagi mencabar berbanding berurusan dengan mesin. Marah kat mesin boleh tendang je, ni marah kat budak takkan nk terajang plak..silap2 boleh tido lokap. Tak pun naik court. Zaman skarang cikgu bukan suka2 je bleh tiau budak. Mak ayah dulu2, bile anak kene marah or pukul ngn cikgu, teruk budak tu kene bambu. Tapi skrang, cikgu plak kene bambu. Padahal anak diorang tu yg jahat, pemalas mengabehkan duit. Tapi cikgu plak yg salah sbb nk mendidik anak2 diorg yg konon nye baik sgt tu.


Silap2 haribulan cikgu bleh masuk hospital bahagia sbb stress. Dah la byk keje, tambah plak dengan perangai studen yg macam2 laa. Nak mengajar maybe senang, tapi nk mendidik jadi org..bukan sesuatu yg mudah. Tambahan plak anak2 akhir zaman ni, sgt2 menakutkan...Tu pengalaman masa jadi guru sandaran, skrang ni insyaAllah akan jadi guru tetap. So memang kene mengadap la smpai pencen, kalo panjang umor. Semoga Allah selalu mempermudahkan jalan untuk kita semua.. Dan semoga usaha guru2 dalam mendidik anak2 bangsa sentiasa diberkatiNya..


Aminnnn.....=)

Great Teacher in The Making

So what makes a great teacher?

1) Passion for teaching. This can manifest itself so many ways. I'm the "jump around the room" kind of teacher, and sure, that comes from a lot of passion, but some of the best teachers I've known have had a passion that students had to be quiet to catch onto. For me, when I was a young teacher, watching people like Maura Gouck and Marijolin DeJager teach with their quiet passion and brilliance was so important to my development as a teacher.

2) Love of kids. You laugh, but it's true! I've seen people come in and talk about teaching and talk about how much they love their subject and know about their subject, but they never mention the kids. Worse, we had an interview once where the teacher clearly knew his stuff, but he basically admitted that his classroom management style was fear and intimidation. Not who I want teaching kids I care about.

3) Love of their subject. Again... pretty important. I spent four years dropping by Mike Thayer's classroom because to watch him explain physics or calculus was, for me, to understand how you could have a passion for something that was always a mystery for me. Great teachers not only love their subject, but they love to share that joy with students.

4) Understand of the role of a school in a child's life. High school is more than the sum of the classes the kids take. It's a time to grow, explore, try on identities, find joys that might just last a lifetime. Sometimes the best teaching we do happens on basketball courts, in the halls after a class, at a local coffee shop or in a drama studio. The best teachers know that they are teachers for much more than the time they are in the physical classroom.

5) A willingness to change. This one gets overlooked sometimes, I think. I've written about this before, but it bears repeating. We talk about how schools should be transformative for kids, but I think they can be just as transformative for teachers. If you expect kids to be changed by their interaction with you, it's got to be a two-way street.

6) A work-ethic that doesn't quit. It's a hard, draining job that will demand all that you can give sometimes. You've got to be able to have some balance in your life, but there are very few teachers who can be effective by cramming everything they need to do into the hours allocated by the average teacher's contract. (And for the record, the overwhelming majority of the teachers I've met put in hours well above and beyond the contract.)

7) A willingness to reflect. You've got to be able to ask why things went the way they did... both on the good and the bad days. And you have to be able to admit when the reasons it went bad were because of what you did, not what the students did. (Equally important is the understanding that often things go right because of what the kids brought to the table, not because your lesson plan should be bronzed.) Teaching requires a willingness to cast a critical eye on your practice, your pedagogy and your self. And it can be brutal.

8) Organization. My personal Achilles heel, and one of the things I'm always working to improve. My Palm Pilot helped, really. But I hate paperwork and official looking documents, and it kills me. I am amazed at the people like Dale Lally who seem to get his papers handed back before the kids hand them in or seems to be able to put his hands on every unit he's ever taught within a moment's notice. Kids know what to expect, they know he's going to be organized and have a structure to his class... and he's still creative and spontaneous and interesting. I can only imagine how much better of a teacher I'd be if the structure of everything I did was just a little more organized. 

9) Understanding that being a "great teacher" is a constant struggle to always improve. I'm starting my eighth year as a teacher in a little over two weeks. I'm pretty proud of what I've accomplished, and I think I've had some moments of great teaching in my career so far, but I also still see all the holes in my teaching -- sadly, often times mirroring holes in my self -- and I still want to get better... because I think I've got a long way to go to be a great teacher every day. And even if I get better at everything I see as weaknesses now, I can only imagine what new challenges will face me on that day. 

10) Enough ego to survive the hard days. The tough days will leave you curled up under a desk, convinced that you can't teach or the world is too hard for these kids or the work is too much or whatever the problem was that day... you have to have enough sense of self to survive those days.

11) Enough humility to remember it's not about you. It's about the kids. If your ego rules your classroom, if the class turns into "me v. them" or if you can't understand that a sixteen year old might be able to tell you something you don't know, then don't teach. Or at least, don't teach high school.

12) A willingness to work collaboratively. Sure, there are some great teachers who close the door to their classroom and do what they want, but I think you send a strange message to the kids that way sometimes. Teachers are part of a school community, and even where that community can be flawed (and lots of schools are), a great teacher should be willing to work to make the community a better place. 



p/s :taken from, http://practicaltheory.org/serendipity/index.php?/archives/8-What-makes-a-great-teacher.html

Akhil Hayy - Berita Kepada Kawan

Berita Pada Kawan

Perjalanan ini terasa sangat menyedihkan

Sayang engkau tak duduk di sampingku kawan

Banyak cerita yang mestinya kau saksikan

Di tanah kering bebatuan

Tubuhku tergoncang dihempas batu jalanan

Hati tergetar menambah kering rerumputan

Perjalanan ini seperti jadi saksi

Gembala kecil menangis sedih

Kawan coba dengar apa jawabnya

Ketika kutanya mengapa

Ayah ibunya telah lama mati

Ditelan bencana tanah ini

Sesampainya di laut kukhabarkan semuanya

Kepada karang kepada ombak kepada matahari

Tetapi semua diam tetapi semua bisu

Tinggal aku sendiri terpaku menatap langit

Barangkali di sana ada jawabnya

Mengapa di tanahku terjadi bencana

Itu tanda Tuhan Murka melihat tingkah kita

Yang selalu salah dan bangga dengan dosa dosa

Atau alam mulai enggan bersahabat dengan kita

Coba kita bertanya pada rumput yang bergoyang.

p/s: sangat suka lagu ni..meaningful lyrics..=)

~c o u n t i n g~

Huhuu rasa lama dah tak ber'blog'...bukan ape, takde citer yg nk dikongsi.. Plus banyak plak keja sekolah sem ni..maklum laa studen...hehehee.. Lagi satu, rase mcm da takde kegilaan nak berblog.. Dah malas pon ade.. Adeiii awal2 je semamgat... Skang da tak.. macam masa baru2 masuk U balik 5 bulan lepas.. Skang da masuk sem 2 da jadi kurang semangat.. Dah start nak malas2...hmmmm Tak tau mana ilang semangat tuu...


Tapi tak pe.. InsyaAllah perjuangan ni akan disempurnakan dgn baik. Banyak masa da digunakan, duit dah dilaburkan (walopun bkn duit saya tapi duit Kementerian Pelajaran..^.^ ), harapan telah dilayangkan, doa dah dikirimkan.... So saya akan terus cari semangat yg ilang tu smpai sy tamatkan perjuangan sementara nii...heheh Semoga Allah sentiasa permudahkan urusan dan jalan yg sy pilih ni...aminnn...=)


Tinggal bape ari je lagi yg rase2 bleh dikira ngan jari, sebelum masuk ke tahun baru, 2011... Walopun perjuangan kecil di UPSI bakal selesai, tapi ia sbnarnya ia akan jadi titik permulaan bagi sy menempuh kehidupan yg sebenar.. Alam kerja yg realistik. Mungkin juga alam kehidupan yg lebih bermakna. Bukan la maksudnya idup sy sblum ni takde makna, tapi mungkin ada perkara2 baru yg akan sy tempuh. Mungkin akan memberi kesan sepanjang hayat.. Di mana sy selepas ni, belum tahu nasibnya.. Mungkin dekat je bleh jalan kaki, mungkin tak terjangkau jauhnya kalo naik kereta sekalipun..haha


Ape pun yg baik tu sume dtg dari Allah, yg buruk tu adalah atas kelalaian sy sndiri. Semoga sy akan menjadi org yg lebih baik daripada hari ni. Semoga hidup sy akan bermanfaat utk keluarga dan bangsa. Semoga impian sy akan tercapai. Semoga bahagia yg dicari akan dikecapi.. Semoga Allah izinkan segala nikmatNya ke atas sy utk disyukuri.. Semoga sy sentiasa berpijak di Bumi yg Nyata...

~a m i n~

p/s: welcome 2011...insyaAllah

sabar ye mak....=)

OMG i'm reaching that numbers...so close. Tapi tu la kan, masa berjalan meninggalkan kita. There's no turning back.. u-turn ke, roundabout pon tak de. Semua kene jalan terus.

Mak   : Ai, kawan2 sume lumba2 nk kawen tahun ni, ko ni rilek je mak tgk..

Umur makin byk, bukan makin sikit.

Saya  : Ye mak, tau.. Biar la diorang kawen. Da sampai jodoh... 

(wat muka selamba je..huhu..kompem bengang  mak tu)

Mak  :  Memang la tggu jodoh sampai, tapi kalau tak usaha dia tak de dtg gedebuk depan  

mata..Kawan  ramai tak kan tak de yg berkenan.. Jangan memilih sgt.. 

Ada keja, jaga semayang, hormat org tua...ok la tuu..

Saya  :  Nanti la mak, akan diusahakan...;p

Mak: :  Nanti2, nak tggu bila.. Yang da wajib, rilek2 je.. Yang muda2 da sibuk nk kawen.. 

Aihh, tahun depan kalau da ade berkenan jalan je terus ngn Jiji.. Wat kenduri sekali..

Saya :  Adoii mak, mana bleh mcm tuu. Kalau Jiji nk kawen dulu biar laa.. Wat pe nk tggu2 kite plak...

Mak :  Takde2, wat kenduri sekali..senang keje semua org..

Saya :  ????

~gambar hiasan~
sy obses btul ngn kaler tiffany nih, mmg suke lahh kalu kawen pkai kaler nih.
huhu berangan sat!!

Tu la kan, bila umor anak pempuan da meningkat. Mak pon mula la risau tetibe. Lagi2 bila si adik da nk bertunang plak. Nasib baik lelaki, kalo pempuan lagi sakit telinga akuu...huhuu~

Memang la ada kawan2 mak, tapi kalo kite je yg berkenan org tu tak cakap ape2, tak bleh jadi gak kan. Bukan memilih, tapi lom jumpa yg bila kite tgk muka org tu, kita bleh rasa tu jodoh kita..

Lagi satu masalah, bila org tu suka kite plak tak de hati. Yang tak suka kite, tu plak yg kite nak..heheh susah arr... Sabar la mak, InsyaAllah jodoh tu Allah dah janji, maybe blom smpai. Biar la kite selesaikan satu2 perkara dulu. Habiskan belajar, then keje elok2.. Da btul2 stabil nanti maybe Allah temukan jodoh tuu... Mak doakan je..=)